Saturday, March 17, 2012

Surf Band Voodoo Court Refuses To Hire Fat Go Go Dancers

The following article is a reprint of a report by Bigger Fatter Politics internet reporter our own Rothnda Hindenberg.

Fat Phobic Surf Band Refuses to Hire Fat Go Go Dancers 
 By Rotunda Hindenberg
Rotunda Hindenberg Fatbody award winning reporter
Gunslinger guitarist Mark Kuhn on right with his band mates.

I don't give a shit how good and how cute these guys are and how cutting edge their music may be the mere fact that they see fit to not have fat girls as go go dancers shows just how fat phobic surf bands are. Voodoo Court it no exception. Surfers in general are fat phobic. Seriously, when is the last time you saw a fat surfer? They are all lean guys the kind us fat girls swoon over. They don't make surf boards to fat people and that just as well as most of us with rather hang out on a party barge with plenty of good food, some BC hydro and some booze.

I was first attracted to Voodoo Court after hearing their food friendly songs like, Kibbles and Bits, Fish Taco, Swallow the Clam, (Us fat girls have big chowder clams) Salmon Creek, Eat Me Coffee Stained Shirt Heavy on the Cream and Cheese Whiz yum. One cannot deny the great talent, intriguing guitar styling and compositional skill of Voodoo Court but one must wonder why they don't have fat go go dancers. Sure these leanlings they have now are smoking hot and I, Rotunda Hindenberg, a super sized bi sexual womyn  of size would be Heavy on the Cream after tasting their Fish Tacos with a little Cheese Whiz for extra flavor since skinny girls rarely come with cheese one must ask Voodoo Court, what do you have against fat girls?

Here is Voodoo Court performing Kibbles and Bits and other surf tunes. Sure it is a stellar performance but once again the go go dancers are not fat!
Critically acclaimed album by Voodoo Court.

The surf may not be for pussies but neither are fat girls. So Voodoo Court, if you guys can't man up because this fat girl's muff is too tough, you'd  better stick with a stick.


Surfer Girl said...

Fuck you Rotunda surfer guys are hot ans so is Voodoo Court. If they had fat chicks as go go dancers the stage would collapse.

One advantage to having fat girls as go go dancers is when their fat starts moving it will look like a wave. Maybe your cooties can surf on it.

Proud FA said...

I bet they all pork fat girls. They are luring them in with all the foods songs. I love you Rotunda but you need to chech your sources and admit you have the hots for Mark Kuhn. You're a Voodoo Court groupie Rotunda and you need to admit it.

Those guys in bands get more ass than a toilet seat. Don't take the fact that they won't pork you personally.

Just enjoy their tunes. Thinnette works out to there music.

VC Fan Club said...

Voodoo Court is very food friendly. Chill out Rotunda!

The Surf Dawgs said...

A few years back I read a review about their Nuclear Vacation CD and the reviewer said that Kuhn put the Dick in Dick Dale and I think that's the problem Ronunda. You are just pissed because he won't put the dick in you.

The Surf Dawgs welcome fat girls at our shows and our drummer Mace likes to ride fat girls. He says it's like surfing but then again he's a drummer and a drummer will fuck anything.

So then Rotunda, if you don't like Voodoo Court bring your pod of land whales out to see us. We love it when you fat girls come to our shows. You drink big girls drink more, and cause you are so big it makes the club owner think he has a bigger crowd and in fact he does.

Maybe you the boys from Voodoo Court won't Swallow the Clam or eat a Fish Taco but but the Surf Dawgs will. We have a motto. No muff too tough.

ohio dentist said...

I almost fell down off my chair laughing. This is totally hilarious.

Fat Bastard said...

I see you are a dentist. How would you like to try to fill a fat girl's cavity?