Wednesday, March 6, 2013

A Food Journal for Gainers and Losers


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A Food Journal For Gainers and Losers

Most fatlings are freestyle gainers. By that I mean they don't really have an eating plan or any method for the accounting of calories. Want to be fatling gainers could optimize their gaining efforts if they were simply to keep a food journal. By doing so they could eliminate nutrient dense foods such as fresh fruits and vegetables and substitute with high calorie foods like cheese, ice cream, butter, Doritos, and a wide variety of chips and dips. The dedicated gaining glutton can optimize his or her gaining simply by keeping a food journal. At the end of the day they can review that journal to see how well they've done and look for ways of improvement for the next day so that they can more efficiently ingest a larger amount of calories without ingesting space taking high fiber foods.

Eating calorie laden foods can also help to eliminate cravings for fruits and vegetables. I shudder to think of a fatling eating a lettuce salad with raspberry vinaigrette. This does not mean that an occasional trip to the salad bar is a bad idea but if you must go to the salad bar the wise glutton piles on the cheese, bacon bits and high-fat dressings. The wisest glutton seeks to eliminate vegetation altogether and ops for fat laden meats, cheese and sugary treats.
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A good gainer needs tools and one of those tools the fast food pyramid. When it comes to gaining fast food is always a best bet. Fast food is quick, cheap, easy and satisfying. Fast food is a slot of food.

Many people in the size acceptance movement advocate a method of eating called health at every size or HAES that was created and popularized by Linda Bacon. The problem with HAES is that it's too confusing, especially for fat girls. Dr. Rev. Big Lard Ass coinvented the Grazen-Heimer technique along with Nobel Prize winning scientists Otto Grazen PhD and Hans Heimer PhD. Their pioneering work has led to a layman's version of the Grazen-Heimer technique. In fact there are two methods based on Grazen-Heimer. The first one is called FATT or food all the time and the other one is called EATT or eat all the time. Recently these two techniques due to their many similarities have been combined into a technique called EATT FATT. Because fat fattens best gainers are reminded to get at least 75% of the calories from fat which is much like the South Beach diet and the Atkins diet.


Gaining for Gainers   Simplicity is key and Adherence is a Must

The successful gainer simply needs to do two things and those two things are this; first the follow the fast food pyramid and simply eat all the time with the goal of an incremental increase in calories every day. Simple adherence to the simple plan will quickly propel a portly pig into mega pig like proportions by simply eating pig like portions.

Some advocates of gaining stress the need for a sedentary lifestyle and while theory this makes sense there are several serious drawbacks to this approach. If a gainer is going for weight it is important to note that muscle weighs far more than fat. The other important factor is that activity increases appetite and it aids in digestion which speeds the transport of food from the mouth to the poop chute. Eventually the gainer will become more and more sedentary as a weight increases but starting with a good base of muscle under all that fat will increase weight and increase appetite. Too many gainers and other fatlings seemed to plateau at the paltry 400 pound mark. 400 pounds is merely a good starting point.

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The Mechanics of Gaining: Eat a lot! Eat often.

Unless you're talking there is no reason for stopping and even if you are talking you can still talk with food in your mouth. If you're not eating your food you should be drinking your food. Eat but not without a double latte. Eat that burger but not without a triple thick shake and french fries saturated in grease and covered with melted cheese and gravy. It's almost obscene eat french fries that are not smothered in cheese and covered in gravy.

Your journal should contain pages similar to a Daytimer time management scheduler. Currently our engineers are working on a diet app  for iPad called the Gaining App/food journal. Essentially the gaining journal is a series of pages listing the days of the weeks, months of the year and hours and minutes in the day. Every time you eat you write down in the journal what you ate at its caloric content. At the end of the day will calculate the number of calories you eat in for the day compared with your basal metabolic rate. The App will calculate your  metabolic rate and total energy expenditure for that day in real-time and if you have not exceeded your metabolic rate the app will prompt you to eat some more. The app contains pictures of food and printable coupons for great deals on fast food. Every day you will set a goal to exceed your metabolic rate by a certain percentage. This is the key to sustained and progressive gaining. The aim of this method is to incrementally increase your caloric intake. This is the most natural way of gaining. The days of the feeding tube are coming to an end and feeders who want to be successful need to become encouragers. There is still a place for the feeding tube but it is losing its prominence and should only be used in emergency situations.

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Losing for losers. How to eat your way lean.

Yes, you read that right. The best way to get lean is to eat your way lean. You may be asking why with a fat acceptance site promote leanness. Here's why. There are a lot of angry fat girls really who don't want to be fat. They whine and cry and bitch and moan and are otherwise a big fucking pain in the ass. There always pissed off about something and that something is the fact that they are fat. They simply cannot accept the fact that they are fat so they try to make everybody else except it but the truth is most people don't give a shit if they are fat. Most people just want these mouthy fat girls to simply shut the fuck up. This is for them and other land whales and pork beasts who for whatever silly reason want to abandon the fat and gluttonous lifestyle.


A good way to remain fat is to remain ignorant when it comes to basic nutrition. Blissful ignorance is also key to remaining fat. The less you know the better. Since most people who want to lose weight are fat girls I will present numbers that are appropriate for facts. The USDA recommends the average woman who is moderately active consume 2000 cal per day. If a woman eats 2000 cal a day the most weight she can maintain is about 135 pounds. As you can see it takes a lot of serious eating to even get into the 200 pound range. With today's food scape it's pretty easy to get a lot of calories in the foods you eat. Luckily for the gaining glutton today's food has been engineered especially for gaining and maintaining. This does not put the loser in good stead for losing and maintaining a low body weight and lean body mass but by following Dr Joel Fuhrman's pyramid they can do it with relative ease.

Eat less and move more... but eat MORE food!

Eating less calories and burning more calories than you consume will result in weight loss. A lot of fat girl dieters like to try to deny this as they retreat back into their angry fat girl mindset and the lies of the old fat acceptance movement. Fat girls who don't want to be fat still love food so it behooves them to either like being fat or change their palates and their appetites.

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An enemy to the gainer is a friend to the loser.

One of the biggest enemies the gainer is dietary fiber. Fiber when it enters a digestive system becomes a space hog. Eating a diet high in fiber combined with a lot of water can cause a gainer and a loser to feel full. The reason that they feel full is because they are full but they are full of extremely low-calorie food it could be an hour or more before the stomach empties and they're hungry again. A gainers biggest mistake can be the loser's greatest triumph.  


Perhaps the biggest enemy to the gainer is lean protein. Lean protein can spell disaster for a gainer. Lean protein causes the stomach to release a hormone called CKK and when it comes to appetite CKK is a kill switch. When the CKK hormone kicks in it's like a punch to the gut from Heavyweight boxer Iron Mike Tyson. You won't want to eat for hours.

Here is a sample page of the food journal.

Sunday

12 AM  Midnight Snack  3 slices of  pizza extra cheese and sausage 400 calories 16 oz  creme soda 200 calories.
_____________________________________________________________________________

12:15 AM ______________________________________________________________________________ 
______________________________________________________________________________

12:30 AM ______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________

12:45 AM _____________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________

1 AM ________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________


Skip to breakfast

9:00 AM Fried eggs, 4 slices Texas toast, 1/2 pound of  bacon, 6 links sausage, 12 oz OJ, 3 cups coffee extra cream and sugar, Total calories 2189___________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________


Mid morning snack

10:30 AM 4 Krispy Creme Donuts, Tripple Carmel Latte, Total calories 700____________
_________________________________________________________________________

Lunch

12:00 PM 3 double cheese burgers, Large Shake, Large fries, XL Coke, 4  hot apple pies Total calories  2900 ________________________________________________________________

Post Lunch Snack 1:30 PM 16 oz Mountain Dew, Bag of Doritos, candy bar Total calories 700
____________________________________________________________________________

Pre supper 3:00 PM 4 Slim Jims and 2 Ice cream sandwiches  620 calories________________
____________________________________________________________________________ 

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I think you get the idea.

Eat your way fat or eat your way thin. By making substitutes a person hell-bent on getting to and maintaining a low body weight can do it with relative ease but by the same token again are can easily and steadily pack on the pounds and become a walking or rolling flabalanche he or she has always dreamed of being.

4 comments:

Dingle Berrymore said...

I love this! A gaining journal is a capital idea. Serious gainer and feeders cannot be all willy nilly. They need a plan.

Bally Balldez said...

Dingle, you said a mouthful! Personally I'm a freestyler but if I were a gainer and not simply a glutton I would have an eating plan.

OINK

Pig said...

Oink!

Anonymous said...

I hear ya pig and I'll do you one better! OINK! SNORT!!