Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Why Walmart Needs to Pay It's Employees More

It's because most Walmart employees are fat and food is expensive. The other alternative is to give them food in lieu of a paycheck.

WARNING: FACTS TO FOLLOW...



FACT: FAT PEOPLE NEED MORE FOOD!
PLUMP PORKERS PROTEST FOR PROPER PAY!
As anyone who has ever been to Walmart knows, the vast majority of Walmartians are fatlings and that is why Walmart hires mostly fatlings. Walmart wants their employees to reflect their customer base. Fatlings love other fatlings.

When I originally thought about this article I was at Whole Foods and I noticed that there were no fatlings emplyees there and while that is fine with me I was about to unleash a flabbalanche or phony moral outrage over the fact that Whole Foods only hires thinlings but when I thought it through I realized that Walmart only hires fatlings. So I guess that not all employment discrimination is a bad thing.


Walmart's decline in sales is an example of bad management, Clearly Walmart needs bigger fatty scooters and wider aisles, As Americans get fatter they are eating more but there is a downside to this for Walmart and that is the aisle blocker. You know what I'm talking about.  Here are some of the many aisle blockers you find at Walmart.

Portly Poker Aisle Blocker In Prone Position


Aisle Blocking and Aisle Clearing SSBBW 


Aisle Blocker Using Using Hockey Goalie Moves


Bare bellied bulbous blocker of aisles


BIG BAD BACK BOOBED AISLE BLOCKER
SEATED SEXY SOW WITH SUCKLING PIGLET



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