NAAFA (National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance) has been going down the tubes for over a decade and has recently announced that they can no longer afford to sponsor any more conventions. I must admit that it was with some glee and some sorrow that I took this news. The upside is that now, I Fat Bastardo am the sole leader of the Fat Acceptance movement. The down side is I Fat Bastardo am the sole leader of the Fat Acceptance movement. While it is great to be the king leadership comes with responsibility. I have been assembling a team of fat men and slender women and a few fat girls for redefining our mission statement and goals. I will be working with Rev Big Lard Ass and his associate Belly Boy. Jenna Talia and Slenderella are working on press releases and social media strategies. The Chef is working on recipes along with Coach Gaines. Our science adviser will be Dr Gerald "Teddy" Bear. Proud FA and his wife Thinnette will be co COOs and Jenna will be acting CFO and PR director.
Before we go into full operation we are looking into ways or resurrecting and reforming the old man hating jealous angry fat girl NAAFA in hopes that we can salvage some value from this mostly defunct organization. When NAAFA issued the statement, I Fat Bastardo opened communication with the nearly defunct NAAFA and offered some commonsense suggestions in hope that the will rethink their failed policies.
NAAFA's statement below:
We are looking at new ways to connect with our membership to offer training and networking opportunities. NAAFA representatives will be attending some of the social events around the country to see if we can partner with them in some way and attract new members that might not otherwise be aware of NAAFA and civil rights work.
If you have ideas or suggestions regarding how we can connect to NAAFA members outside of holding a conference, we would love to hear your thoughts! Please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
To Whom It May Concern:
I watched with great interest, joy and sadness the demise of NAAFA. NAAFA really dropped the ball and I am not going to sugar coat this.
The logical fallacies put forth by NAAFA made it too absurd for any logical person to take it seriously.
Logical fallacy one. Gluttony is not the cause of obesity. This denial of the immutable law of physics is just too absurd for most people especially men to accept. Fat people are gluttons and to deny that reality and not to embrace gluttony is an insult to the intelligence of most people.
Logical fallacy two Feederism is a bad thing. When NAAFA was in it's hay day feederism was a big part of the success. While I won't pork a fat girl there are plenty of guys who will. I only bone skinny chicks but there are guys who are not grossed out by fat women.
Logical fallacy three Obesity is a woman/s issue. When NAAFA started this fat feminism crap and the lesbians got involved that turned off a lot of people from the FA's to the fat girls that wanted to be porked by them. Feminists are like cilantro, they ruin everything.
If you want to find fat people go to where the food is plentiful and cheap. Serve it and they will come. Instead of calling it a NAAFA convention call it a NAAFA convention and food fest and serve lots of greasy comfort food. All you can eat! Food attracts fat people. Fat people live to eat.
Change your slogan to: Proud by nature FAT by choice. Stop sounding like victims of some mysterious genetic thing. Everybody knows that's bullshit. Stop the gluttony shaming.
Stop talking shit about skinny chicks. Fat guys dig skinny girls because they treat us best. Slender women are great.
Embrace gluttony by listing a menu of the most decadent food available. That will draw em in. Life is short EAT!! Stop the gluttony denial.
NAAFA became an old girls club even though it was started by a man. Fat men are treated like a turd in a urinal by women especially fat women. If there is not an equal number of fat men in NAAFA then NAAFA is failing fat people. Attract more fat men. Hire some skinny low rent hookers for the next convention. Fat men have very low standards same as the fat admirers but fat men rarely get laid. Fat men often find it impossible to pork a fat girl. It's a matter of anatomy.
I hope this helps.