Thursday, January 1, 2015

Fat Bastardo's Shocking New Year's Announcement




As readers of NAAFA, Bigger Fatter Blog, Gastric Bypass Kills and Bigger Fatter Politics all know, I Fat Bastardo am the the leader of the fat acceptance movement of as I like to call it the gluttony promotion movement.  As we all know I, Fat Bastardo have suffered 4 heart attacks and several diabetic comas due to my greedy gluttony. Finally I had to admit that I simply cannot handle the fat. Since one can't enjoy the porcine pleasures of life when they are dead I Fat Bastardo decided to eat less and move more and lose weight and that is exactly what I have done.

In the past 2.5 years I Fat Bastardo have gone from a bulbous 395 pounds to a svelte 172 pounds and as a result of this weight loss my die a beat us is gone and most of my heart disease has been reversed and overall I am down a whopping 223 pounds. I am no longer taking any medications and I can run like a deer.

You may want to ask.

How did you do it Fat Bastardo?

I simply ate less and moved more but the important thing was how much less I ate and how much more I moved. I gradually cut down my calories and gradually increased my movement.

How hard was it?

It was surprisingly easy. I was never hungry and my cravings were small.

The most important question is, "How can you be a lean guy and still be the leader of the fat acceptance movement?"

First off I was fat for most of my life and so I really still am a fat guy. Fat men need strong leaders and I am that leader. I'm like Chris Christie only I am not a lying weight loss surgery sellout piece of shit.


Fat men are known to be jolly. Are you still jolly Fat Bastardo?

I was never all that jolly but I was jolly and I still am moderately jolly but I am less jolly than I was. As my fat vanished my testosterone increased and I became a bit less jolly. The opposite happens with fat girls. As they get fatter their estrogen turns into DHT and that is why they spout pig bristles and become moody and aggressive.

As you all know, the new fat acceptance movement has never been anti weight loss. Like the fat girl NAAFA and those losers over at Fierce Free Thinking Fatties. The new fat acceptance is not some Nazi run gluttony denying girls club.  The new fat acceptance does not hate skinny people or lean people. Think about it. When have you ever heard about a fat guy talking shit about a lean guy? Fat guys are not petty and jealous. While fat men have a strong preference for lean women they are like most other men who have a similar preference for lean women even though lean guys are able to pork fat girls.

Fat Bastardo, now that you are lean will you be porking fat girls?



NO FUCKING WAY! Not now not ever NEVER!